Smash Melee as Drinks
Posted August 7, 2026
Super Smash Bros Melee was initially released on November 21, 2001. The sequel to Super Smash Bros for the Nintendo 64, Melee proved to be a gamechanger. More characters, faster gameplay, deeper dynamics, a standard bearer for the Super Smash Bros franchise in competitive play and college couch co-op alike. The phenomenon of Melee became the lingua franca of a generation. It’s not hyperbolic to say that without Melee, there’d be no Super Trashed.
Originally released on the Gamecube, Melee had its 21st anniversary on November 21, 2022. We thought to ourselves, you know what would be cool? What if, in observation of a video game reaching the United States legal drinking age, we assigned an alcoholic bevvy to every character on the Super Smash Bros Melee roster?
And we did. But things got busy and forgot to post it. So, rewind your mind a few years (or imagine Super Smash Bros Melee is three years into drinking and annoyed that it, a video game, can’t rent a car (is that still a thing?)). It’ll never rent that car… It’s a damn video game.
Bowser - Michelada 
Captain Falcon - Dude's shredded. Definitely green apple vodka with no mixer 
Captain Falcon - Falcon Kick (a cocktail of his own design consisting of vodka and Falcon Punch, an energy drink he endorses) 
Donkey Kong - The darkest rum you've ever seen 
Dr. Mario - Some kinda kombucha. There's no way his oversized pills are anything but weird unregulated supplements 
Falco - Gin martini
Fox - Gin martini, ordered incorrectly
Ganondorf - Zombie. embodiment of many different reincarnations of evil (brown rums) 
Ice Climbers - Daiquiris 
Ice Climbers - Frozen Margs
Jigglypuff - Everclear (or something that puts you to sleep quickly)
Kirby - Depth charge (or some such thing)
Link - Link's doing a beer flight (just got hit by a lynel and needs to eat all the random shit in his pockets asap)
Link - Shirley Temple (because Legend of Zelda has temples)
Luigi - Dad beer
Mario - Painfully italian, red wine for his spaghetti and mushrooms
Marth - I’d say in honor of the OG Melee champion and GOAT Marth player, I’d make a Ken combo that's just a beer and a shot that’s served with friends to honor the bonds with allies that fire emblem is all about creating. Or a dancing blade 4 drink combo where the fourth drink is changed based on the direction you’re holding 
Mewtwo - Cinnabar Island Iced Tea
Mr. Game and Watch - Vodka Neat (one (or two i guess)-dimensional)
Mr. Game and Watch - Old Fashioned since that MF is old as hell 
Ness - Pabst (hipster choice)
Peach - Some kinda absinthe
Pichu - Lime OG 4Loko (basically a margarita but it actively hurts you to indulge (and marketed towards the youth))
Pikachu - Margarita
Roy - Flaming Doctor Pepper
Samus - Buzz Ball
Sheik - Sheik is 100% drinking fireball and angry orchard (side b bomb is 100% an Angry Ball)
Yoshi - Whiskey sour (they're greenish and they have egg in them)
Yoshi - More of a weed guy
Young Link - White Hyrulian (vodka + Kahlua + Lon Lon milk)
Zelda - Zelda's the smart one, so she’s drinking some kind of french 75 brain tonic / elderflower liqueur acceptable replacement when silent princess syrup unavailable
That was fun and enlightening. Let’s do it again! Super Smash Bros Brawl was released in 2008. See you in 2029, readers!